Hey,

I made a new xanga... so.. be happy and all. Hehe.. Just kidding... but seriously... go check out my new xanga and subscribe to meh!

xViolentLullaby

Woot! I adopted a little fetus! Hehe.. -Hah, SAM!! Lol-

My little September (bottom of the page), Kitty, and Emo (bottom of the page) fetus'! How adorable! You, 'ey you... punkass.... get one. They may not do anything..but hell. hehe..

Music is now: "Artist In The Ambulance" Thrice *Changed music just for S. haha..*

I know I shouldn't care.. I know I shouldn't care... I K N O W I S H O U L D N ' T C A R E...

B U T   I   D O ! W h a t t h e f u c k i s w r o n g w i t h m e ?

 Dammit... I should not care. AT ALL! I shouldn't. But I fucking do. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I guess, I should tell you what the fuck is bothering me, since you are probably wondering.. "What the hell is she babbling about?" Well.. here goes nothing... : (BTW, Brett and I SORT of started talking again.... )

Okay, it was alright at first. Until about around 11:50 p.m. I don't know what ticked me off right then. But I was. It was like I knew something was eventually going to tick me off in the next few minutes or so... I went into the computer room and got this piece of paper thing, that I drew on, and I went into the dining room and started drawing the same thing I drew before (a heart engulfed in flames with bits of flames going about and cracks in the heart, like it was breaking). Then my brother and Brett ended their little Turok game. They and Beth all got up. David went into the kitchen and Beth and Brett were in the living room still. I look up (from having my head down for a few minutes) and see them hug like they were boyfriend and girlfriend.  That's when it hit me.. the anger and jealousy. I sat up in the chair and I tore up the drawing I was doing. And I felt my body go hot. After they hugged and all, I rushed into the computer room, then came out and Brett was outside and Beth was in the doorway talking to him. I go back into the computer room and get online and Beth comes in, sits down in the chair, waiting for my mom and my brother to get out. When they got out of the room she smiles at me, ss I watch them leave, and she's sitting there hugging her knees and says "He kissed me.." I look to her, trying not to look all pissed off and give her a thumbs up, and looked back at the computer screen, waiting for Amber to answer me. Then she asks "What's wrong..?" I go .. "Nothing......" I think she asked again and I replied with the same answer... then there was silence and she said "Good night.." I didn't say a word.. and now... here I am, arguing with Dwaine about... something related..... and talking to Amber. As I said again, at the beggining...

I   K N O W   I   S H O U L D N ' T   C A R E   ! ! ! ! And she's done it again. (Only some people know about that, and yes.. this time it is different, but oh well..) But for some fucking reason I do. I know I'm stupid. So that's not an answer. If you think.... you know.. please.. comment or IM me..  Buh bye..

Here's some pretty cool lyrics. Thanks to Justin for telling me to download the song.. Hehe

"The Artist In The Ambulance"

late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
red light, can't stop so i spin the wheel
my world goes black before i feel an angel lift me up
and i open bloodshot eyes into fluorescent white
they flip the siren, hit the lights, close the doors and i am gone

now i lay here owing my life to a stranger
and i realize that empty words are not enough
i'm left here with the question of just
what have i to show except the promises i never kept?
i lie here shaking on this bed, under the weight of my regrets

[Chorus:]
i hope that i will never let you down
i know that this can be more than just flashing lights and sound

look around and you'll see that at times it feels like no one really cares
it gets me down but i'm still gonna try to do what's right, i know that there's
a difference between sleight of hand, and giving everything you have
there's a line drawn in the sand, i'm working up the will to cross it and

[Chorus]

rhetoric can't raise the dead
i'm sick of always talking when there's no change
rhetoric can't raise the dead
i'm sick of empty words, let's lead and not follow

late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
red light, can't stop so i spin the wheel
my world goes black before i feel an angel steal me from the
greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
they've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance

[Chorus]

can we pick you off the ground, more than flashing lights and sound

That song is by Thrice. Mhm.. So yeah.  I'll write later. Bye.

Not in a typing mood. So I'll make it short.

From 7:30 to 11:00 P.M the Dance Barn.

Saw Amy for the first time throughout the entire Summer.

Awesome. Danced: Slow n Fast

Was with Austin the entire time. M/O: 3 times!

(I wish Megan was there! She could of seen our man! Whoo! <3bb yoo Megz!)

Buh bye.

Music: "The Artist In The Ambulance" Thrice